Funny Puns

To write with a broken pencil is pointless. –

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. –

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. –

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. –

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. –

The batteries were given out free of charge. –

A dentist and manicurist married; they fought tooth and nail. –

A will is a dead giveaway. –

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed. –

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. –

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat miner. –

You are struck with your debt if you can’t budge it. –

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under. –

A boiled egg is hard to beat. –

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall. –

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. –

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. –

If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory. –

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired. –

In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your count that votes. –

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. –

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. –

He had a photographic memory which was never developed. –

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. –

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye. –

cupuncture: a jab well done.

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