A Cat’s Diary

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant.

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must
try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 – Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with
sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of
the night.

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was … Hmmm. Not
working according to plan.

DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time
however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.”
What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation
is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the
glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly I overheard that
my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage….

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more
than happy to returnee. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on
the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered
their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time

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